Ah, January - slow, cosy, blocking out every resolution I’ve been conditioned to want to make. This is the life.
Despite my feelings towards resolutions etc. (you can read that here) I always welcome January with open arms, purely for that fresh-start feeling. I entered January this year with one intention - be intentional. And I meant that in regards to almost everything. Intentional rest. Intentional family time. Intentional eating. A lot. I spent a lot of the past year trying to do things that weren’t really for me - things that I thought I should be doing, rather than things I genuinely wanted to do.
So here, again, is a monthly rundown of all of the things I’ve been trying, doing, eating (recipe included!), watching, and loving this month - with some of my favourite posts of the month featured at the end, too. Enjoy!
What I’m Trying
READING! FINALLY!
This month, I started reading Normal People. It was incredible. 58 pages in one sitting, and I was hooked. I got the hype immediately. I knew I’d love it. But it reminded me of my ex. I’ll save you the bore of explaining why in far too much detail, but the summary is this: I feel like Connell is written to be loveable, the type of guy the reader is supposed to cheer on, to be desperate for his happy ending. But when you’ve dated a Connell, it’s impossible to feel this way towards his character. To give everything to someone with such potential - someone who shows you every component of love except love itself - breaks you when you realise they will never be more.
Part of me relived my youth when reading Normal People. Not because I related to one of the characters personally, but because it gave me a new lens to view my past through. I guess I didn’t appreciate having sudden epiphanies about my past while trying to escape into a different world.
Still, I finished a book, and I’m insanely proud of myself.
What I’m Doing:
Writing poetry! The inspiration has been coming in waves, but when those waves arrive they are a tsunami of ideas. I’m waking up in the night to scribble things down in my notes app. I’m stopping in the street to text an idea to my husband. I’m scrambling for scraps of paper across the table to jot something down.
I’ve managed to write fifteen poems since the start of the year - not long ones, by any means, but pieces which, in the least arrogant way possible, are miles better than anything I’ve written before. I think it’s because I’m finally allowing myself to write freely - giving myself the freedom to feel and explore topics I’ve stayed away from in the past, and softening that mental barrier that stops the words from going from your head to your fingertips. It’s so much fun.
I started journaling, too. I’d spent far too long looking for a ‘system’ which suited me, and I realised that any system I was trying was only restricting me, preventing me from getting the most out of my journals. So, two new notebooks later, I’ve settled on the following setup:
Commonplace - an A6 lined notebook, to collect ideas and inspiration from the world around me. I’ve split the book in half, so that I can use it for two different things. From the front, I collect ‘input’ - things I hear, see, experience in the world. From the back, I collect ‘output’, simply ideas for poems, writing, or general things that I have thought of that might be of use.
“Junk Journal” - of sorts. An A5 notebook, grid pages. I’m aiming for it to be a combination of traditional journaling (with entries whenever I feel like it) and junk journaling. Something I am really enjoying doing is a ‘snapshot’ page - a hand-drawn month-to-view calendar, with a story-worthy snippet/summary of each day in each box. It’s tricky, as you have to be mindful of only using a few words, but it is so lovely to look back through each day, and it really encourages me to see the positives of my days.
Notebook - A5 lined, spiral bound. For scribbling out plans for articles, to-do lists, and for jotting down anything related to writing. This is my ‘workbook’, I suppose.
What I’m Eating:
I’ve been sharing quite a bit of my meals and baking over on my instagram recently (@numberfoureats, if you want to be nosy) and I thought I might start sharing a recipe or two in my monthly reflections, too! This month’s go-to meal has been this roasted tomato pasta dish - topped with almost too much parmesan cheese, it’s the perfect dish for cosying up on the sofa after a long day, or sharing with a loved one over a glass of wine once the kids are asleep. I use bucatini here, but it also works beautifully with rigatoni, or even spaghetti! Enjoy xoxo
Line baking tray with foil, then greaseproof paper. Halve cherry tomatoes, place cut side up on tray. Drizzle with olive oil, season with salt and pepper, and roast at 200C for 20-25mins - until slightly charred at edges.
Place bucatini into salted boiling water - cook to package instructions. While pasta cooks, make sauce:
Very finely dice half an onion. Finely slice 2 garlic cloves. In a cold pan, add 1tbsp olive oil, sliced garlic cloves, and a pinch of chilli flakes. Turn on heat. When sizzling, add onion. Cook until soft - around 2-3 minutes. Add roasted tomatoes, and 1tbsp tomato puree. Fry for 1 minute, and add a ladle of pasta water. Turn heat to low and allow to simmer as pasta finishes cooking. Add more pasta water if necessary.
When pasta is cooked, drain and transfer to sauce pan. Stir, serve, top with fresh parmesan.
What I’m Watching:
Agatha Christie’s Seven Dials - Ok, this was an end-of-the-month watch so I’m only a couple of episodes in, but I have to say how incredible Mia McKenna-Bruce is as the lead (and if it’s bugging you, she was in Tracy Beaker Returns/The Dumping Ground on CBBC). I’m the type of person who immediately takes on tiny parts of the personalities of people and characters I admire, and Mia is no exception as Bundle. I have massively fallen in love with the whodunnit trend at the moment, and I am simultaneously ridiculously excited to finish this, whilst also not wanting it to end.
Just a Dash - Matty Matheson’s YouTube series may have ended five years ago, but Just a Dash is back with a vengeance on Netflix with season 3 (with seasons 1 and 2 available to watch there, too) and I am hooked. I’d never come across the series until S3 aired on Netflix this month, so I’ve been rattling my way through all of the original 15 minute episodes, desperate to get to S3. I’d hoped I’d have got there by now, but January has had me falling asleep on the sofa more often than I’d care to admit. This is in no way a reflection of Just a Dash - when I do get round to watching a handful of episodes, I’m in stitches.
Dead Poets Society - I genuinely thought about doing an entire post on this after I angered/confused a lot of people in my subs chat with my initial thoughts on this film. Yes, I know it’s a classic, and yes, I know it’s crazy that I reached age 28 without ever watching this movie. I agree with you - I should have watched this as a teen/young adult. My thoughts fit into two key areas:
The film has no clear ‘main character’ - great, not an issue, tell me about everyone! Except, it doesn’t. There’s no depth to each of the characters, we just learn a little bit about each of them. I didn’t feel bonded or attached to any of the characters like I usually would with a film like this. So when the ending all plays out, I didn’t feel what I was supposed to (I think…)
Watching as an adult changes your perception of the film - a few people I talked to in my subs chat mentioned this, and I think they’re right. Watching this as a teen/young adult would probably have allowed me to feel more of an attachment to the younger characters. Maybe I’d have related to them more? Instead, I look at the entire plot through not only the eyes of an adult, but those of a parent, and a teacher - which sucks.
I really wanted to like this movie - actually, I expected to love it. I think that’s why I felt so disappointed by it.
What I’m Loving:
Channeling my inner kirby and inviting whimsy at every opportunity. Like romanticising the season by swapping out my Christmas mugs for the pink ones and the one that is covered in hearts. Like wearing things I’ve always been hesitant of (certain colours, patterns, and somehow dungarees?) and just allowing myself to be happy in them - because they do make me happy, and I shouldn’t be ashamed of that.
Still loving a dirty chai (duh) and I’ve finally found the best chai syrup for a quick coffee-shop style dirty chai. Might have already mentioned this in my December post. I don’t make any money from you clicking that link, I just need you to try it.
I have been utterly fixated on writing my fictional piece With Most Gentle Wishes. I can’t stop. Its letter after letter after letter and I am slightly concerned that I have so many ideas that the story may never end. Having said that, I skipped to the end to write the final letter, and while I broke my own heart in the process, I do have a clear ending in mind. Just got to get there, I guess.
Also shoutout to my tretinoin for finally starting to clear up my skin (I’m 28, hormonal acne can fuck off, please.)
Posts I’ve loved:
A new addition to the monthly reflection - I simply must share these pieces with you!
1. do i want to be beautiful?
lex 💌 never ever fails - her poetry is absolute art, and she is one of my favourite writers on this platform for this very reason. Not only are her words a beautiful balance of power and tenderness, she somehow manages to resonate with her audience, piece after piece.
“the very thing i was taught to need
didn’t save me.
in some ways,
i think it killed me.
it reduced me to only a body,
it told me that this was all i could be.”
2. Friendship Pact
I highly recommend delving into Beau Watson ‘s collection of short stories - they are wickedly funny and the perfect representation of his incredible imagination. This one is my personal favourite, you simply must read it. Beau also has a fantastic collection of poems - his poetry is beautifully abstract and his recent post ‘citrine’ is my favourite - although, I keep catching myself saying ‘this is my favourite’ every time he posts…
3. I got rejected, but I’m being protected
Oh, caroline cherry does it yet again. You know those writers whose work you’ll read, no matter the topic? The ones you go back to time and time again, because they are simply so brilliant? That’s Caroline. Vulnerable, introspective, yet fiercely determined and optimistic, Caroline is an absolute breath of fresh air. Her poetry is flawless, her way with words like oil paints on canvas - slick, juicy, and deep. I’m simply obsessed.
“What if rejection isn’t a no, but instead it’s a not yet? Maybe the path of an artist is only fruitful for those with the determination to keep walking down it, despite the bumps, thorns, and Do Not Enter signs.”
4. he’ll let our daughter paint his nails
an absolutely beautiful piece from ✎𓂃𝐜𝐚𝐭 that simply transported me. This is what love is.
I’ve never known where I ended and he began,
But I think that that perfect division would exist
In copper hair and blue eyes,
My lips, but his nose and his teeth.
Catch up with my latest posts here:
Absolutely loved this roundup Georgia, and definitely agree that a notebook/journalling system doesn’t have to be complicated, and can just be what works best for you. I’m also running (not walking) to that masala chai syrup (once it’s back in stock!) Thank you for sharing such a wide spectrum of the things you’re loving, this was a great read! 💗
GEORGIA!!!!!!!!!! WHAT AN HONOR it is to be mentioned here 😭💞 i’m so so happy you loved that poem because it’s still one of my faves i’ve written. thank you for seeing me 🥺 i LOVE YOU